Those were the days
- Mary Hopkins
Once upon a time, there was a tavern
Where we used to raise a glass or two
Remember how we laughed away the hours,
Think of all the great things we would do
Those were the days, my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we'd choose
We'd fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way
Then, the busy years went rushing by us
We lost our starry notions on the way
If, by chance, I'd see you in the tavern,
We'd smile at one another and we'd say
Just tonight, I stood before the tavern
Nothing seemed the way it used to be
In the glass, I saw a strange reflection
Was that lonely woman really me?
Through the door, there came familiar laughter
I saw your face and heard you call my name
Oh, my friend, we're older but no wiser
For in our hearts, the dreams are still the same
Those were the days, my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we'd choose
We'd fight and never lose
Those were the days, oh yes, those were the days.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Friday, February 27, 2009
I wanna live a little.....
Just because I'm smart doesn't mean I don't have the right to act stupid once in a while.
I might talk big, and think big, and , well, essentially be great.
That does not make me perfect.
And by no means whatsoever, does it make me a grown-up.
I like being an adult, but I don't want to be old.
So, for everyone out there who is thinking of "what's best for me" -
Thanks. I really DO appreciate it. And I love that I have ALL of your mistakes to learn from. I'd just like to learn from my own mistakes though, just once in a while.
I'm all of 20, and I've wasted too much time already, trying to grow up.
I completely forgot how, in the process, I was letting my juvenescence go.
I want to loosen up now.
I want to be rash.
I want to be careless,
and clumsy ( Not that i can help this last one ;-) )
I want to have a little FUN....
It's not the kind of fun you're probably afraid I might be talking about :-p
I just, don't want to be so careful anymore. I have the whole of the rest of my life to do that.
You say you trust me to know what's good for me?
Give me the option of actually making that decision!!!
I might talk big, and think big, and , well, essentially be great.
That does not make me perfect.
And by no means whatsoever, does it make me a grown-up.
I like being an adult, but I don't want to be old.
So, for everyone out there who is thinking of "what's best for me" -
Thanks. I really DO appreciate it. And I love that I have ALL of your mistakes to learn from. I'd just like to learn from my own mistakes though, just once in a while.
I'm all of 20, and I've wasted too much time already, trying to grow up.
I completely forgot how, in the process, I was letting my juvenescence go.
I want to loosen up now.
I want to be rash.
I want to be careless,
and clumsy ( Not that i can help this last one ;-) )
I want to have a little FUN....
It's not the kind of fun you're probably afraid I might be talking about :-p
I just, don't want to be so careful anymore. I have the whole of the rest of my life to do that.
You say you trust me to know what's good for me?
Give me the option of actually making that decision!!!
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Faraway
I choose not to believe in reality.
My purview of the truth is limited to the infinitude of my feelings.
The only truth I’ve ever known, is Us - The truth I watch gradually evanescing into the emptiness that’s left of my life.
I’m pounding against your walls, only to push you even further into your nook.
You were all the joy I knew - The joy I now see passing me by, waving a single finger, as if to convince me of the finality of its departure.
You’re close enough that I could breathe you in.
Yet the distance would cost me a lifetime.
Perhaps, even a life.
My purview of the truth is limited to the infinitude of my feelings.
The only truth I’ve ever known, is Us - The truth I watch gradually evanescing into the emptiness that’s left of my life.
I’m pounding against your walls, only to push you even further into your nook.
You were all the joy I knew - The joy I now see passing me by, waving a single finger, as if to convince me of the finality of its departure.
You’re close enough that I could breathe you in.
Yet the distance would cost me a lifetime.
Perhaps, even a life.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
25 Random things about Me...
1. I’m scared of believing in ghosts, because I’ve watched the ‘Secret’ way too many times and now firmly believe that if I don’t give up my fear of ghosts, I might actually think them into existence.
2. I can go many, many, many days without being any use to anyone around me. It’s not something I’m proud of.
3. I don’t know how to make friends.
4. I KNOW that every once in a blue moon when I DO decide to show up for a lecture, it is ALWAYS, without fail, cancelled, or postponed, or something along the same lines.
5. I take No.4 to be God’s way of telling me that I don’t need lectures.
6. I AM God.
7. I cannot stand people making assumptions about me, whether they’re true or not. although I take my intolerance for the fact to be a sign of my denial of everything that is, in all probability, true.
8. I am, perhaps, way too spiritual for my own good.
9. I’ve been missing CKD for a few months now.
10. I YEARN for a chance to perform on stage.
11. I’ve been putting off writing this note for a while now, just because everyone was doing it.
12. I don’t like admitting to liking popular stuff.
13. I’m tired of eating junk food. I long to eat home-made food once more.
14. I don’t LIKE living in an already tiny room, over-crowded with my luggage STILL waiting to be unpacked. Someday soon, I shall unpack.
15. The few tabs always open on my explorer – Orkut, Facebook, my Blog, Osho Tarot, a couple of youtube videos on how to glide/ perform an arm wave.
16. I have recently started reminiscing about a time, not so long ago, when I used to be normal. I kind of miss it.
17. I want a pet with me, here in Nottingham, possibly more than anything else.
18. I STILL don’t regret anything I’ve ever done.
19. I’m inherently clumsy. I cannot count the number of time I’ve fallen/tripped/slipped/stumbled, over my own feet.
20. There is no kind of music that I cannot tolerate.
21. I write myself notes and display them on the wallpaper of my phone, as constant reminders. The current one reads – “I am Energy! I am very patient!”
22. More than often, I catch myself wishing I could be someone else, just so I could be friends with myself.
23. I’ve been feeling blank, the last few days.
24. I wish I could have known Kurt Cobain.
25. I disapprove of meeting people and asking them how they are. You don't actually mean it, and even if you do, they won't tell you the truth. It seems pretty pointless.
2. I can go many, many, many days without being any use to anyone around me. It’s not something I’m proud of.
3. I don’t know how to make friends.
4. I KNOW that every once in a blue moon when I DO decide to show up for a lecture, it is ALWAYS, without fail, cancelled, or postponed, or something along the same lines.
5. I take No.4 to be God’s way of telling me that I don’t need lectures.
6. I AM God.
7. I cannot stand people making assumptions about me, whether they’re true or not. although I take my intolerance for the fact to be a sign of my denial of everything that is, in all probability, true.
8. I am, perhaps, way too spiritual for my own good.
9. I’ve been missing CKD for a few months now.
10. I YEARN for a chance to perform on stage.
11. I’ve been putting off writing this note for a while now, just because everyone was doing it.
12. I don’t like admitting to liking popular stuff.
13. I’m tired of eating junk food. I long to eat home-made food once more.
14. I don’t LIKE living in an already tiny room, over-crowded with my luggage STILL waiting to be unpacked. Someday soon, I shall unpack.
15. The few tabs always open on my explorer – Orkut, Facebook, my Blog, Osho Tarot, a couple of youtube videos on how to glide/ perform an arm wave.
16. I have recently started reminiscing about a time, not so long ago, when I used to be normal. I kind of miss it.
17. I want a pet with me, here in Nottingham, possibly more than anything else.
18. I STILL don’t regret anything I’ve ever done.
19. I’m inherently clumsy. I cannot count the number of time I’ve fallen/tripped/slipped/stumbled, over my own feet.
20. There is no kind of music that I cannot tolerate.
21. I write myself notes and display them on the wallpaper of my phone, as constant reminders. The current one reads – “I am Energy! I am very patient!”
22. More than often, I catch myself wishing I could be someone else, just so I could be friends with myself.
23. I’ve been feeling blank, the last few days.
24. I wish I could have known Kurt Cobain.
25. I disapprove of meeting people and asking them how they are. You don't actually mean it, and even if you do, they won't tell you the truth. It seems pretty pointless.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
The Rebel - Osho
People are afraid, very much afraid of those who know themselves. They have a certain power, a certain aura and a certain magnetism, a charisma that can take out alive, young people from the traditional imprisonment....
The enlightened man cannot be enslaved - that is the difficulty - and he cannot be imprisoned.... Every genius who has known something of the inner is bound to be a little difficult to be absorbed; he is going to be an upsetting force. The masses don't want to be disturbed, even though they may be in misery; they are in misery, but they are accustomed to the misery. And anybody who is not miserable looks like a stranger.
The enlightened man is the greatest stranger in the world; he does not seem to belong to anybody. No organization confines him, no community, no society, no nation.
Osho The Zen Manifesto: Freedom from Oneself Chapter 9
The enlightened man cannot be enslaved - that is the difficulty - and he cannot be imprisoned.... Every genius who has known something of the inner is bound to be a little difficult to be absorbed; he is going to be an upsetting force. The masses don't want to be disturbed, even though they may be in misery; they are in misery, but they are accustomed to the misery. And anybody who is not miserable looks like a stranger.
The enlightened man is the greatest stranger in the world; he does not seem to belong to anybody. No organization confines him, no community, no society, no nation.
Osho The Zen Manifesto: Freedom from Oneself Chapter 9
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Orig. quote
Most of us go through life seeking validation. Alas, we never do find it. For one man’s truth is bound to be another man’s dream, and yet another’s lie.
- Varnika Kundu
- Varnika Kundu
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Happy Valentines' AseemBhai :)
I’ve been thinking.
Yes AseemBhai, It IS amazing the results a little speculation can bring about.
To state the obvious, I was lying in bed, wondering why a simple change of date brings about such major changes in people’s behaviour. In other words, I was trying to figure out why Valentines’ Day always makes me feel unpleasant, except of course the couple where I actually DID have a Valentine.
Well, one thing led to another, and I ended up with my copy of AseemBhai’s book in my hand.
AseemBhai was all of 23. Yet, he achieved in his run here, more than most people achieve in many lifetimes, put together. He was, IS, truly great.
As far back as I can remember, I never had any role-models, or idols. My only idol, ever, was my dad. Till a time not very long ago, I firmly believed that my dad had the answers to EVERYTHING. Then, I grew up. And a few years, and not-so-few hoaxes later, I realised, with a hint of disappointment, that my father, also, is human. Fortunately, I was mature enough to realise that, in no way does that fact change who my father is. True, he might not be as well-informed as Google, but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s one of the very, very few people who command my respect.
Anyway, coming back to the point. A couple of years ago, I was introduced to AseemBhai by my best friend. By introduced, I don’t mean literally. That, unfortunately, didn’t happen till much later. However, I knew enough about him to know that I had found another idol. For a long, long time, all I had was the idea of him to hang onto. And then, I finally got to know him. Perhaps not as well as I’d have liked to, but well enough to know that he truly deserved every bit of the admiration and respect I had for him.
It is here, that I recognise the inadequacy of words in describing how I feel. Surprisingly, today isn’t the first time that is happening.
In the last few weeks, I’ve often wondered if I even deserve this. By ‘this’, I do not mean what you think. And I choose not to explain. I, however, decided that I do. And hope I’m right.
I wish I’d had more time. I really do. My view of the world has recently been turned upside down, and I’ve begun to question the very facts I’ve taken for granted since I was a kid. It’s now at the point where I have completely stopped believing in the impossibility, of anything. There is, however, one thing that I’m sure of. There can, and will, never be another AseemBhai. And I don’t only mean for me. I mean ever.
Sure, he was human too. He had his faults, we all do. I’m even told that there are people who weren’t fond of him. I don’t find that hard to believe. In fact, I’m glad of it.
AseemBhai had an intensity about him. Intensity will always shake people up, and they will either like it, or they won’t.
If I had to describe AseemBhai, I couldn’t. One of the reasons being that I didn’t know him well enough (I don’t regret that, for regretting will serve no purpose other than to make me unhappy). The other reason, yet again, is the fact that words, more than often prove to be an inadequate expression of the feelings, and situations of utmost importance. I can, however, make an attempt at describing what AseemBhai was to me.
He was he elder brother I never had.
He was one of my closest friends. It is true, that I didn’t know him very well, or very long. Yet, I knew I could count on him, and his support, and his precious advice. My relationship with him is the reason I have finally started to understand how very little time has to do with the importance of the people in your life. No amount of efforts, or time, can ever make or break a relationship that is meant to be.
A few years ago, when AseemBhai (apparently) had no idea who I was, Andy and I tried to play a prank on him. I added him to my Yahoo messenger list and messaged him, on the pretext of being a random chick. I still chuckle at the thought of the 2 little idiots (Andy & I) grinning, and being audacious enough to think that they could outwit AseemBhai. WHAT were we thinking? Anyway, we did learn a valuable lesson – you don’t mess with a genius. Period.
There are very, very few texts that I allow the privilege of influencing me. AseemBhai’s blog, now, tops the list. It’s amazing how I always find exactly what I’m looking for in there.
I’d been wanting to do this for a while now, and I’m glad it finally happened.
I DO miss him. It is perhaps a little selfish, but now more than ever. Even though I’m pretty sure he was utterly bored of hearing me whine over and over again. :-p
AseemBhai always knew the right thing to say. Without fail.
It was always the same thing. Yet, it made perfect sense every time.
‘Relax. God is in charge.’
Now, I can relax, knowing I have contacts up there.
Take care, AseemBhai.
p.s. you should know, you're the only one i'm wishing this year. Part of this silly 'principles' thing I have going :-p
Yes AseemBhai, It IS amazing the results a little speculation can bring about.
To state the obvious, I was lying in bed, wondering why a simple change of date brings about such major changes in people’s behaviour. In other words, I was trying to figure out why Valentines’ Day always makes me feel unpleasant, except of course the couple where I actually DID have a Valentine.
Well, one thing led to another, and I ended up with my copy of AseemBhai’s book in my hand.
AseemBhai was all of 23. Yet, he achieved in his run here, more than most people achieve in many lifetimes, put together. He was, IS, truly great.
As far back as I can remember, I never had any role-models, or idols. My only idol, ever, was my dad. Till a time not very long ago, I firmly believed that my dad had the answers to EVERYTHING. Then, I grew up. And a few years, and not-so-few hoaxes later, I realised, with a hint of disappointment, that my father, also, is human. Fortunately, I was mature enough to realise that, in no way does that fact change who my father is. True, he might not be as well-informed as Google, but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s one of the very, very few people who command my respect.
Anyway, coming back to the point. A couple of years ago, I was introduced to AseemBhai by my best friend. By introduced, I don’t mean literally. That, unfortunately, didn’t happen till much later. However, I knew enough about him to know that I had found another idol. For a long, long time, all I had was the idea of him to hang onto. And then, I finally got to know him. Perhaps not as well as I’d have liked to, but well enough to know that he truly deserved every bit of the admiration and respect I had for him.
It is here, that I recognise the inadequacy of words in describing how I feel. Surprisingly, today isn’t the first time that is happening.
In the last few weeks, I’ve often wondered if I even deserve this. By ‘this’, I do not mean what you think. And I choose not to explain. I, however, decided that I do. And hope I’m right.
I wish I’d had more time. I really do. My view of the world has recently been turned upside down, and I’ve begun to question the very facts I’ve taken for granted since I was a kid. It’s now at the point where I have completely stopped believing in the impossibility, of anything. There is, however, one thing that I’m sure of. There can, and will, never be another AseemBhai. And I don’t only mean for me. I mean ever.
Sure, he was human too. He had his faults, we all do. I’m even told that there are people who weren’t fond of him. I don’t find that hard to believe. In fact, I’m glad of it.
AseemBhai had an intensity about him. Intensity will always shake people up, and they will either like it, or they won’t.
If I had to describe AseemBhai, I couldn’t. One of the reasons being that I didn’t know him well enough (I don’t regret that, for regretting will serve no purpose other than to make me unhappy). The other reason, yet again, is the fact that words, more than often prove to be an inadequate expression of the feelings, and situations of utmost importance. I can, however, make an attempt at describing what AseemBhai was to me.
He was he elder brother I never had.
He was one of my closest friends. It is true, that I didn’t know him very well, or very long. Yet, I knew I could count on him, and his support, and his precious advice. My relationship with him is the reason I have finally started to understand how very little time has to do with the importance of the people in your life. No amount of efforts, or time, can ever make or break a relationship that is meant to be.
A few years ago, when AseemBhai (apparently) had no idea who I was, Andy and I tried to play a prank on him. I added him to my Yahoo messenger list and messaged him, on the pretext of being a random chick. I still chuckle at the thought of the 2 little idiots (Andy & I) grinning, and being audacious enough to think that they could outwit AseemBhai. WHAT were we thinking? Anyway, we did learn a valuable lesson – you don’t mess with a genius. Period.
There are very, very few texts that I allow the privilege of influencing me. AseemBhai’s blog, now, tops the list. It’s amazing how I always find exactly what I’m looking for in there.
I’d been wanting to do this for a while now, and I’m glad it finally happened.
I DO miss him. It is perhaps a little selfish, but now more than ever. Even though I’m pretty sure he was utterly bored of hearing me whine over and over again. :-p
AseemBhai always knew the right thing to say. Without fail.
It was always the same thing. Yet, it made perfect sense every time.
‘Relax. God is in charge.’
Now, I can relax, knowing I have contacts up there.
Take care, AseemBhai.
p.s. you should know, you're the only one i'm wishing this year. Part of this silly 'principles' thing I have going :-p
Friday, February 13, 2009
Fool in love.....
Love.....
Fools in love, they say.
I agree.
Those in love, are never smart.
Those who are smart, are never in love.
The calculations, the shrewdness, the strategies that render people ‘smart’, are not of love, or from love.
Hence, they cannot understand love. It seems nothing more than a farce, nothing less than a trade.
Love hits when you least expect it to. It hits hard.
It is at this precise moment, that all your knowledge, your genius, your planning, goes up in smoke.
It’s not a force to be reckoned with. It’s there, and it’s there to stay.
Fools in love, they say. Simple, honest, innocent, foolish.
They trust, even when it hurts, they continue to trust. They trust, and stop not, until they drive you to be worthy of it.
They give, and rest not, until you receive willingly.
They love, and they tire not. Ever.
Fools in love, they say.
Proud to be one.
p.s. post title, courtesy Inara George's song - Fools in love :)
Fools in love, they say.
I agree.
Those in love, are never smart.
Those who are smart, are never in love.
The calculations, the shrewdness, the strategies that render people ‘smart’, are not of love, or from love.
Hence, they cannot understand love. It seems nothing more than a farce, nothing less than a trade.
Love hits when you least expect it to. It hits hard.
It is at this precise moment, that all your knowledge, your genius, your planning, goes up in smoke.
It’s not a force to be reckoned with. It’s there, and it’s there to stay.
Fools in love, they say. Simple, honest, innocent, foolish.
They trust, even when it hurts, they continue to trust. They trust, and stop not, until they drive you to be worthy of it.
They give, and rest not, until you receive willingly.
They love, and they tire not. Ever.
Fools in love, they say.
Proud to be one.
p.s. post title, courtesy Inara George's song - Fools in love :)
Ha... Look where I finally landed up......
I'm tired....
I'm EXHAUSTED......
There's really nothing more left for me to do....
I wish SOMEONE would understand..........
Oh they all DO understand, either this side, or that....
I come from somewhere in between........
But, NOW, I'm tired.....
After EVERYTHING that's happened.....
Nothing was good enough......
I have nothing more left to give......
I shall now proceed outside, and enjoy the lightly falling snow. :)
or...
Whatever.
I'm EXHAUSTED......
There's really nothing more left for me to do....
I wish SOMEONE would understand..........
Oh they all DO understand, either this side, or that....
I come from somewhere in between........
But, NOW, I'm tired.....
After EVERYTHING that's happened.....
Nothing was good enough......
I have nothing more left to give......
I shall now proceed outside, and enjoy the lightly falling snow. :)
or...
Whatever.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
In a blue funk......
So many decisions waiting to be made.
Some already made, perhaps only to be revoked.
Some shall, perhaps, never be made.
A life changing event is waiting to happen – good or bad? I shan’t know, till I know.
I can feel the spring in the air today.
Hang out with myself an awful lot. Fear going insane.
Fear fear.
Fear that I might have made a decision that isn’t mine to rectify anymore.
Fear feeling helpless, and not being able to do anything about it.
Fear having to let go of all I’ve worked towards.
Waiting is possibly the most painful part of transitions.
I can do nothing but.
Doing the right thing, this time, hurts. Yet, it feels right.
All I can do, is feel.
This too, shall pass.
Some already made, perhaps only to be revoked.
Some shall, perhaps, never be made.
A life changing event is waiting to happen – good or bad? I shan’t know, till I know.
I can feel the spring in the air today.
Hang out with myself an awful lot. Fear going insane.
Fear fear.
Fear that I might have made a decision that isn’t mine to rectify anymore.
Fear feeling helpless, and not being able to do anything about it.
Fear having to let go of all I’ve worked towards.
Waiting is possibly the most painful part of transitions.
I can do nothing but.
Doing the right thing, this time, hurts. Yet, it feels right.
All I can do, is feel.
This too, shall pass.
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